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Re: Lost With You
First, seperate the lines from the header, example will be given at the end of this. Second off, your chorus is entirely too long and it drowns out the rest ...
Jan 9, 2009 -
Re: Take Me Back To 90's
I miss the 90's, good music, awesome TV shows, amazing movies...and so many things to do aside from sit on the PC...now days we could get arrested for some terrorist ...
Jan 9, 2009 -
Re: Never Coming Back (Punk Rock)
First the added bold words detract from the writing (just a personal quirk), it is hard to focus on the writing itself when every verse has this bolded font hanging ...
Jan 9, 2009 -
Re: Just Go
First verse solid, second verse caught me off with 'shove your ring' for some reason that line doesn't click with the rest of the verse for me. The chorus is ...
Jan 4, 2009 -
Re: Why Can't You See?
Could be organized better, the first two verses can be split and used later in the lyric specifically the second one. The chorus is a bit lengthy, typically you want ...
Jan 4, 2009 -
Re: His Song
The first verse is solid, however I think it could do with some more length. The chorus threw me off because as I read I fell into 'chorus you are ...
Jan 4, 2009 -
Re: A Path For the President Elect
This is an awesome bit of writing, the word choice, the flow...everything mended well together to form an exquisite piece of poetry. I really enjoyed the outline all the way ...
Dec 19, 2008 -
Re: The Wind
Pretty eye opening as a whole, kind of gives you a new view of a leaf with images such as "The leaves laugh". I like the innocence in the piece ...
Dec 19, 2008 -
Re: Wish You Were Here
Pretty emotional, so because of that I will simply critique one aspect. The way some of the lines flow into the next is off-setting to me as they are complete ...
Dec 19, 2008
